The more things change, the more they are the same.
ALPHONSE KARR, Les Guepes
WEEK 1 REVIEW
Happy 9/11 everyone! I can't believe football is back and week 1 is in the books. So many great storylines, so many things that deserve my negative attention. Here are a few that captured my attention.
Perhaps I should begin by posing a question. Which do you believe will happen first:
A.Mitt Romney releases his tax returns
B. Trojan launches a new "specialty" condom line specifically targeting Asians
C.The Oakland Raiders commit fewer than 10 penalties in a game.
D. None of the above
Chargers 22 Raiders14
Fact: If you combine atrocious offense with abysmal special teams -- you get a 22-14 Raiders loss at home in the season opener. A mediocre performance by the Chargers was more than enough to complete the humiliation of Oakland.
To be clear, I'm not surprised at all by the Raiders opening their 2012 regular season with an L, but after the off-season house cleaning executed by the organization, I expected a tad bit more.
It's tough to pin a teams loss on one individual player, but backup long-snapper Travis Goethel had the kind of game that will cause him many sleepless nights for years to come. Shouldn't punting be the one area the Raiders excel at? Along with... maybe... field goals? Watching perennial Pro Bowler Punter, Shane Lechler, attempt to scoop up the grounders Goethel pathetically rolled his way, followed with merciless uprooting, was a tragic comedy of the type you could only expect from Oakland.
I couldn't help but picture Al Davis looking up at the game and scowling.
Eagles 17 Browns 16
Nobody from the Eagles or Browns are going to complain if this game tape disappears. After 6 months of wondering how the Eagles would respond to a disappointing 2011 season, and persisting rumors of Andy Reid's firing not going away, we now have our answer. Horribly. The offense... absent. The defense...the jury is still out. Mike Vick completed 29 of 56 passes with 2 td's and 4 int's. He looked lost. The line didn't protect him. He held the ball WAY too long. His decision making was suspect. The Eagles running game never got going. On the bright side for the Eagles, their much maligned D held Cleveland's offense to 16 points, albeit, Cleveland's offense is what we can describe politely as... shall we say... sub-standard.
For the Browns, what can I even say? They drafted 29 year old rookie QB Brandon Weeden in the 1st round of the 2012 draft as their new savior and replacement to all their problems -- Colt McCoy.
Before the game started there were already clues as to how the day would go. During the national anthem, troops unfolded a giant American flag, spreading it across the field, trapping Weeden beneath in the process. Things only got worse from there.
Weeden wrapped up his NFL debut with a QB rating of 5.1 and 4 int's of his own, the worst debut performance for a QB since sometime back in the 1960's. RB Trent Richardson, the 3rd overall pick in the 2012 draft, had 19 carries for 39 yards. Not what the Browns were hoping for out of last years Heisman winner.
Meanwhile, thanks to LB D'Qwell Jackson's interception returned for a td, the Browns are still in the game with 15-10 lead in the second half. This is when Coach Pat Shurmur has to make his first important decision as an NFL Head Coach.
He could decide to go for two -- attempting to go up by 7 -- or kick the extra point for... whatever reason. The Browns kick the extra point and eventually lose the game 17-16, leaving a fan base well accustomed to losing calling for Shurmur's job after 1 game.
Jets 48 Bills 28
When it comes to the competition of the best looking shirtless QB in NY -- I think we're all winners here. But in regards to the starting job and leading the Jets to a much needed victory -- Sanchez pulled it out in week 1.
The Jets getting a W should come as a surprise to no one. Rex Ryan candidly explained to the media weeks ago how great the Jets would once again be the greatest team ever to play football (though this year there would be no guarantee). Rex claimed to feel secure in his position as New York Jets Head Coach for the next 15 years, and with the way the Jets played Sunday, he just might be right.
For once Tim Tebow isn't the center of attention. For all the hype surrounding his arrival to New York, reality turned out to be a lackluster 5 carries for 11 yards and zero pass attempts. As Tebow sat onlooking from the bench for what seemed like 59 minutes, Mark Sanchez put together an impressive campaign, playing each offensive series as though it could be his last.
After an early ugly interception, Sanchez shocked the media, fans, and the world alike by connecting on 19 of 27 passes for 266 yards and 3 td's, seemingly hanging onto his starting job for another week (at least the opening series).
Tebow could only sit and watch in disbelief (I know I did), as the Jets easily scored 48 points against a high-priced, revamped Buffalo Defense without him.
The Jets had only scored 1 td in the entire pre-season! Critics and media routinely disparaged Sanchez, Rex Ryan, Tebow, and the Jets organization throughout the pre-season, the feeling embodied by last weeks cover of the New York Post.
The expensive $100 million addition of DE Mario Williams led to zero sacks and almost no pressure by the Bills. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick, a Harvard grad, has lost 9 out of 10 games since signing his 6 year contract extension worth $59 million.What happens when you combine Mario Williams with Ryan Fitzpatrick... besides not winning? Using a sophisticated computer program and advanced laboratory techniques, I crossed their genetics forecasting the result...
 |
| Bernie Madoff screwed New Yorker's out of billions. |
But even in those controlled settings, using the brightest Asian minds science has to offer, nobody could have predicted the Jets would score 48 points. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what week 2 brings.
