"Loser"

Throwing up a W L

Teams need to do a better job developing young quarterbacks.

"Oh' God! Please say it's not so..." Maybe it's not as bad as it looked initially, let's just wait a minute and see. Maybe he can walk it off.

That's Redskin QB Joe Theisman's right leg bent backwards and snapped cleanly.

Alright, his leg is backwards, I'm no doctor, but that's not good. Clearly you can tell that the tibia is broken in 6 places. Your multi-million dollar franchise QB's leg is still lying on the ground, while he's writhing in pain attempting to scoot himself off the field. This was the year we were supposed to be .500!

That's when you see some pathetic looking, no-name, floppy-haired circus-freak drafted in the untelevised 6th round trotting onto the field, as if mocking the fans who have been patiently waiting three decades to sniff a playoff birth.


Just like that your season and dreams are over. Judging by the QB's Justin Beiber haircut and the fact he played under Jerry Sandusky at Penn State, you've ascertained by one quick glance that he has no chance of completing a pass further down field than 5 yards.

Jerry Sandusky paid special attention to the development of your favorite teams backup QB.  

Well, let's give him a few plays, maybe it won't be that bad. Announcer: "Fumbles the snap! That wasn't a good start. 2nd and 14 from their own 16 yard line. Takes the snap... Interception!"


You weren't supposed to have to focus on how terrible your own life is until January, when playoffs start! There is nothing left to focus on now except unpaid bills, a wife who is getting larger and more unattractive by the day, screaming brat children that you didn't want to have to begin with, and a job that you hate where you're underpaid and overworked. You know-- real life stuff.

When your starting QB goes down, it's time to go home to your wife and deal with reality.

You were ready to sacrafice your first born for a Superbowl ring.

Suicide is certainly a viable option. If you're a Muslim, at least there are still all the virgins to look forward to.

In case you were wondering, there are no virgins desperately waiting for you anywhere, only these women.

Disgruntled fans are left asking a series of legitimate questions. Why wasn't there someone capable of being a backup in place? Why was the GM too cheap to bring in any decent offensive lineman who could protect the quarterback? Are the problems deeper than just the QB? Which method of suicide is most likely to work?

Tyler Palko, Curtis Painter, Caleb Hanie, Charlie Whitehurst, Kyle Boller-- I'm talking to you. How in the world are you in the NFL?! Whitehurst makes Tarvaris Jackson look talented, and Caleb Hanie leaves me longing for Jay Cutler-- Something I never thought I'd say.



Into that same pot, throw in Blaine Gabbert of the Jaguars-- who looks worse with each ensuing start-- John Beck of the Redskins (and Rex Grossman for that matter), Vince Young, Josh Johnson, Matt Leinart, and maybe Tyler Yates (the jury is still out). Did these teams actually believe that were prepared at the quarterback position when they began the season?


Granted, each of the players I mentioned typically rides the bench behind a QB actually capable of making throws, but the NFL is a dangerous business for anyone, let alone quarterbacks. And I get that there are only a handful of elite QB's like Drew Brees, Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers. But what happens when Peyton Manning goes down?







In one play, elite NFL teams go from this:

To this: 0-12

If your team is any good then the quarterback is white. Which would make him genetically inferior to his 300 lb. African American defensive counterparts who are bred and trained to kill quarterbacks. Of course, the white guy is the only one capable of being that decision maker smart enough to run the 400 page playbook used in the offense, but he's always one sack away from a juiced-up freak-show ending his season. So why aren't teams better prepared?

In the NFL, retirement is always one play away. Ndamukong Suh might not be the brightest guy on the team, but he's more than competent to annihilate your QB and your dreams.

Take a look around the league and see how many QB's there are starting games in week 13 that were backups heading into training camp. I know you're too lazy to do that, so I did it for you.

16 teams have started a backup in at least one game. Now I'm too lazy to go back and calculate exaclty what their record is, but it's not good. Anyone who's watched football this year knows what I'm talking about.


Last week, I saw Jay Cutler backup, Caleb Hanie, get flagged for intentional grounding when all he had to do was spike the ball and stop the clock. There was still a chance to kick a field goal and tie the game, but the penalty came with a clock runoff that instead ended the game. A botched spike?! Have you ever heard of that? Didn't he play pop-warner? It's enough to make any fan go berzerk.



Now I don't have any answers, that's not my job. But there are people making millions annually that do need to figure it out quick. Peoples lives depend on the success of their football team. Whatever method, teams need to do a better job developing their backups, so when an injury happens in the future, they're not left scrambling.