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It could be coincidence that the day Tim Tebow's win streak ended is the same day the Phillipine flood disaster struck-- but because there is something seriously wrong with me-- I don't think so.
Nobody cares about the Phillipines and that's a fact. Not me, not you, not Tom Brady, and, as we can see from what transpired this past Sunday, not GOD either. Don't get me wrong, I don't wish harm or tragedy upon them, I'm just saying that if I were GOD, I'd rather tune in to see heart-throb Tom Brady sling TD's, interfering with destiny to bring down the ALL-MIGHTY Broncos, rather than pay attention to whatever tragedy might be happening that particular day in the Phillipines. Wouldn't you? What's the big deal? Chances are, He can always catch the next tragedy in a few weeks, but this first meeting of the Pats and Tebow... well it only happens once. GOD investing His time into football seems proposterous at first, but stick with me because when you really analyze the situation deeper, stopping to think about any possible consequences from another routine disaster in an already impoverished Country, you're led to the inevitable conclusion football is more exciting and more important. Football games affect the lives of millions of American's. Flooding caused by Tsunami's and earthquakes-- maybe a few hundred thousand people, tops.
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| Look at these people, if only the tsunami victims could understand the pain and sorrow that accompanies a potentially season-ending loss, they would be more inclined to show their support. |
Maybe the explination is as simple as there is no GOD or Higher Power, but try telling that to Pat Robertson. Maybe there is a GOD and he just doesn't like Phillipino's. That's certainly a possibility, and the one Pat Robertson will most likely go with. Or maybe, it was just time (again). It had already been weeks since their last fatal natural disaster, so maybe they were due for another devastating tragedy in one of Earth's most impoverished places. Or maybe, just maybe, because football is the best thing ever, GOD loves Tom Brady more than Tim Tebow, Manny Pacquaio, and all the Phillipino's combined (I know I do!). But as narrow minded round-eyed Americans we still want answers, but more importantly, someone to blame.
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| GOD was smiling down on Tom Brady while simultaneously giving the finger to the Phillipines. |
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| Mr. Miyagi was a great gardener and allegedly Japanese, but in Southern California we have Mexicans for gardening. |
I know, let's take a page from every other minority and blame the rich white man. How about Tom Brady! Tom Brady knew that GOD would be watching and decided winning the game and the AFC East was more important than letting Tebow win and saving the Phillipines.
Like level-headed whities let's look at the situation objectively to determine, not a solution, but how this situation will affect us.
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| My drycleaner might actually be Phillipino but who could tell? |
Hmm.. let's think about it. It's not like my drycleaning will be affected, that's done by the Korean's. My sushi rolls and karate lessons are handled by the Japanese. My favorite $5 hooker is from Thailand. My Chinese food is made also mostly by Mexicans, sometimes by the Chinese, but never by the Phillipino's. Gardening, also Mexicans. Blacks... well, who else would keep the prisons full and ensure sports are entertaining?
Phillipino's have already reached the impervious "bamboo ceiling" in the workplace (if there is one in sweatshops), their food sucks (when there is food), and they contribute little if anything to our beloved American Culture (with the exception of manufacturing cheap knock-off Louis Vuitton purses).
Pacquaio rose from the Malaria-mosquito infested rice paddies of the Phillipines to conquer all of the child-sized weight classes in boxing, which in the Phillipines, is enough to allow you to one day become President.
Here in the United States, it takes an athlete and an acting career to get involved with politics. Pay attention Phillipines, you could learn something here from these wise round-eyes.
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| I realize they are dealing with the aftermath of a flood, and have other priorities, but this was an important bamboo shipment headed for a Malibu remodel. |
It seems the only thing the Phillipino's share in common with other Asian's is an inability to operate a motorized vehicle (and possibly good math skills but since there are no schools there we will never know for sure).
It still has to be all Tom Brady's fault.The entire population of the Phillipines has got nothing on Tom Brady. Brady has acheived many accomplishments over his storied and well decorated career, including 3 Superbowl victories, 2 NFL League MVP Awards, and countless AFC East Division Titles. He's crushed nearly as many secondaries as Justin Timberlake has poontang. 
TOM BRADY IS THE DEVIL-- ALBEIT A HANDSOME ONE.
The rise of Tom Brady and the collapse of the Phillipines must be Divine Intervention... right? How else could you explain power-couple Brady and Bundchen? Or his perfectly chiseled jawline etched into the face of a God. I don't even need to look, I already know he has a huge package lurking just beneath the surface down there.
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| In search of Tom Brady for this exclusive interview, I snuck into the Patriots locker-room shower and made a not-so-shocking discovery-- he's HUGE! |
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| Coming home to a supermodel after a long day of winning football games and making millions of dollars are only a few reasons to hate Brady. |
Now that Brady and the Pat's have destroyed Tebow, GOD, and that whole Divine Intervention thing, who's left to stop him? Matt Moore and the Dolphins this weekend--yeah right.
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| To the residents of Buffalo and the ownership of the Bills, Fitzpatrick pulled the white equivalent of purse snatching by cashing in a huge payday while throwing in the towel and quitting on the season. |
I think the lesson to be learned here is nobody and nothing can stop Tom Brady now, so we should all be on high-alert for another disaster soon.
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