Why the Broncos need a savior to replace the Chosen One

We still love you Tebow (wink, wink)

GM and President of Football Operations John Elway, Owner Pat Bolen, Head Coach John Fox, and the rest of the Denver Bronco brass are proving they're willing to do just about anything to land Peyton Manning in Denver. From offering Manning a post-football career, to offering up their wives, their message is crystal clear-- We hate Tim Tebow. Not as a person, or even as a player-- just as a quarterback.

I thought I was alone! Thank God someone in the Bronco's facility understands, that at some point, in order to win consistently in the NFL, the Bronco's are going to have to throw the football. There is a HUGE difference between defensive battles and offensive struggles. Offensive struggles are what Tim Tebow brings to the team, along with a great work ethic, likability, charisma, pride, mental toughness, consistency (even if it's shitty), and of course religion. Except for religion, all great traits. He's seemingly a genuinely nice person who wants to make the world a better place, which he does. The only thing he doesn't make better is Denver's chances of winning.

Manning brings nearly 55,000 career passing yards and 400 passing touchdowns to the team.  Numbers Tebow wouldn't match unless he played until the year 2657. Manning also brings 2 Superbowl appearances with 1 title, and a record 4 NFL MVP awards. Manning instantly makes the Bronco's the Division favorites in the weak, make that pathetic, AFC West.

As if you need proof of that, Tim Tebow led the Bronco's to the division Title this year with an 8-8 record and a sub 50% passing completion percentage. I'm pretty sure that the Minnessota Vixen could beat the Raiders, Chiefs, Broncos, and Chargers all at least once.

If the Broncos can win their Division they can make a run in the Playoffs. The Broncos have plenty of young talent, from Demaryus Thomas, Eric Decker, Julius Thomas, Ryan Clady, and Von Miller, to one of the top 5 or 10 overall offensive lines in football. They have enough veteran leadership in players like Champ Bailey and Willis McGahee to have veteran presence, without being considered old. They have an owner who covets a championship and is willing to do whatever it takes to win. They have John Elway, one of the best quarterbacks of all time, making personnel decisions, along with Head Coach John Fox. They're all on the same page, and they know they are close. Perhaps most importantly, they have some of the most salary-cap space in the NFL. Add Peyton Manning to the mix, and you have a team poised to make a run.

These excited Bronco's fans are drinking the Manning juice.

The AFC isn't the powerhouse it was a few years ago. The NFC has Aaron Rodgers, Drew Brees, Cam Newton, Eli Manning, Michael Vick, Tony Romo, Matthew Stafford, Jay Cutler, and Sam Bradford, guys who can light it up at times, if not all the time. But who are the AFC favorites? The Ravens, Steelers, and Patriots. After that who? Just please don't say the Chargers.

Let's take a look around the AFC to see who is capable of challenging a Manning led Broncos team.



Not if hell froze over...

The San Diego Chargers

San Diego, America's Finest City, offers perfect weather, great location, lot's of entertainment, restaurants up the wazoo, and all the college poontang a young professional athlete can handle-- just not any winning sports teams. Even Green Bay, WI, can attract sports stars-- why not San Diego? Answer: General Manager A.J. Smith.

Chargers General Manager, A.J. Smith, AKA "The Lord of No Rings", single-handedly destroyed a winning nucleus in San Diego. Make that several. From handing away Drew Brees for nothing, to letting Michael Turner walk, A.J.'s methods of management are a proven recipe for failure.

But his worst move might be hiring Norv Turner. If Turner wasn't good enough for the Raiders or Redskins, the NFL's two most mis-managed nuthouses, why would A.J. bring him to S.D.?

Scrotum neck

Not to be outdone by the Padres' annual last place efforts, the Chargers brass had to scramble to dismantle what could have been a championship team. Making several Playoff runs and getting to the AFC Championship game, was apparently way too close for Smith's comfort. He immediately fired Head Coach Marty Schottenheimer and replaced him with scrotum neck Norv Turner. Turner had better success with his Proactive treatments than he did coaching the Raiders and Redskins-- which is none at all. Perfect for the Chargers Head Coaching job! If you Google Norv Turner, as soon as you type in Norv, the computer guesses you're searching "fire Norv Turner"-- try it.

In typical A.J. Smith fashion,  in preparation for the 2012 season, the Chargers just shipped their best talent, star wide receiver Vincent Jackson, out of town to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and replaced him with Saint's 6th receiving option, Robert Meachem. At 6'5, Jackson is a big-bodied reciever who has a nice blend of speed and strength, and aggressively uses his size and frame to go up and snatch footballs. What makes it worse is that Vincent Jackson was TRYING to stay with the Chargers, and for several years had been pleading with management to offer up a long-term deal. Instead, Smith used the Franchise Tag on him twice, refusing to committ to what may be the best receiving talent, other than Calvin Johnson, in the NFL. And San Diego could have traded him!!!!!!!


The second free agency opened up, Jackson, with bags already packed and loaded in his car, made a mad dash for Tampa Bay. The Chargers knew for months that Jackson wanted out-- can you blame him? So why didn't they trade him during the season? Were they too busy and distracted by another amazingly lackluster 8-8 season? They could have gotten draft picks for him!!!! Instead, the Chargers get nothing in return, and fans get the punishment of having to watch him perform for another team, while the Chargers once again lose the Division to the Broncos.  

Charger fans watched Smith chase out Ladanian Tomlinson, Shawne Merriman, Drew Brees, Antonio Cromartie, Rodney Harrison, Michael Turner, and on and on and on... now add Marcus McNeil and Vincent Jackson to that casualty list.

Fire A.J. Smith and Norv Turner!!

Not the...

The Baltimore Ravens

They do have some promising young talent, but after failing to come to terms with RB Ray Rice on a long term deal, and laying the dreaded Franchise Tag on him, there is no guarantee he will be around too long. The defense is talented but aging. I'll be a Ray Lewis fan until the day he dies, which might actually be the same day he decides to retire. Being accused of murder only bolsters his reputation as the most frightening player in the NFL. Even at age 65, or however old he is now, Lewis is still the heart and soul of the Ravens defense, which has been fun to watch since Y2K.

Wide Receiver Anquan Boldin looks EXACTLY like Avon Barksdale, from the HBO series The Wire, which is enough to make me a fan. Then add to that the fact he shattered his entire face a few years ago while playing for the Cardinals, refused to take painkillers, and was back on the field within 4 weeks, and we have a God among men.

Granted, most black people do look alike, but these two REALLY look alike.

But then there's Joe Flacco. And there is no denying this is a quarterback driven league. Flacco shows flashes of brilliance, but then throws terrible interceptions in critical moments. Then he blankly stares at the grass with that giant hideous uni-brow, and you have to forgive him because you realize he's retarded and it wouldn't be polite to make fun. Other than being retarded, the major criticism on Flacco is that he can't win on the road, especially in the Playoffs. Like Lebron James, he disappears in big moments. Although I have to give him some credit, the Ravens did make it to the AFC Championship game this year, and lost a close battle to New England. But Flacco reminds me a little too much of one of the McPoyle's, from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and that's not a good thing.

Possibly...

The New England Patriot's

If I heard that Tom Brady uses horse semen as moisturizer, and that was the secret to his looks, I would run, not walk, run, as quickly as I could to start cranking on the meat-pipes of every thouroughbred I could get my hands wrapped around-- double-fisting of course.


Mr. Perfect is not only the guy who stole your High School sweetheart, then dumped her before his pants were fully zipped back up, Tom Brady is also one of the all-time NFL greats, and most likely on more than one occassion, shattered your favorite teams playoff dreams.



The only problems with the Patriot's are, they rank dead-last in nearly every defensive category, and the "genius" Belichick has missed on a bunch of draft picks in recent years. His strategy of trading away everyone with talent for high draft picks, then trading away those draft picks for multiple picks in the middle and late rounds, seems to be failing, or at least not the perfect system it once was. There was a time when it seemed like a stroke of pure genius to trade away rounds 1-6 for a whole bunch of 7th round picks, then filling whatever other voids the team still had by bringing in washed-up has-beens, never-was', mixed with misfit trash even the Raiders couldn't tolerate, but now it seems just as stupid as it sounds. Earth to Bill Belichick-- there is a reason that players get drafted in the first round-- it's called TALENT. Just because you found a scrawny, gangly, unathletic, no-name kid from Michigan, late in the late fifth round, who ran the slowest 40 yard dash out of all 400 player invited to the scouting combine, and that kid turned out to be Tom Brady, doesn't mean that stupid approach works all the time.


With that being said, as long as you have an All-Pro QB, Tight Ends like Gronkowski and Hernandez, a receiver like Wes Welker, and a game-planner like Belichick (even if he has to tape the opponents practices to do so), add a few more pieces added in this years draft and the Pats will be right back in the Playoff mix.








Possibly...

The Pittsburgh Steelers

If Frank the Tank, AKA Big Ben Roethlisberger, can stop raping long enough to make it to mini-camp and actually participate in off-season drills, the Steelers are always going to be the favorites to win the AFC North. Partly because they play in the same Division as the Bengals and Browns, but mostly because they're just good. Winning isn't celebrated in Pittsburgh, it's expected. There is an attitude and a culture that players feed off of, and anything less than a Playoff berth and you'd better watch your back when walking around town.

The Steelers have an owner willing to spend on talent, and also with enough sense to leave the football operations to the football people (take a hint Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder). Head Coach Mike Tomlin instills just enough discipline to keep players in line, but keeps that balanced with a caring personality and genuine approachability. Grown men pumped with steroids, making millions of dollars per year, don't need some wrinkly old white coach that hasn't played since the days of leather helmets, constantly barraging them with belittling insults and unjust punishments (Mike Shannahan).

Mike Wallace and Antonio Brown have emerged as two legitimate wideouts that can stretch the field. There are enough veterans on the Steelers that the retirement of Hines Ward shouldn't even be noticed inside the locker-room. If the Steelers can shore up their piece-meal offensive line, draft a running back that can actually run more than 3 yards, and add another player or two to thier aging defense, then there is no doubt the Steel City will again be seen playing in January.











So there you have it. If you would like me to break down your favorite team just let me know, I'd be happy to do so.